The Case Of The Missing Microphone

Tiny mysteries and small conundrums abound.

When I decided to gear up for creating video tutorials, I assumed that I had a microphone for making audio voice-overs. Well, I scoured the office and bins and closets and boxes of cables and miscellaneous computer parts.

No joy. I could not find the darn microphone that I knew I had, because I’ve moved it from spot to spot in the office a hundred times over the past 10 years, always telling myself, “don’t throw this out, you’ll need it sooner or later.” I must have tossed it. My office is a collection of old computer parts, camera equipment, books and other things. About every 5 years I toss things to keep the clutter down to the size of a small landfill.

Disappointed in my lapse of judgment, I purchased a new microphone. One of those cheap, omnidirectional, poor frequency response things with a USB connection. I don’t need anything fancy. I’m not a recording studio. All I need is to capture and edit voice-overs. I can tweak the recording in my audio software to give me that smooth, morning dj sound.

A few days later, the new microphone arrived, complete with a small tripod. I placed it on the desk in front of the computer. I hooked it up and tested it. “Testing, 1,2,3”  It worked fine.

Right on schedule, about 30 minutes after I tested the newly purchased mic, I found the old microphone. Exactly where I had put it, in the equipment cabinet with all the other small electronic gizmos that I’ve been hording for years. It was obscured in a pile of electronic junk, just as I had assumed all along.

I quickly whipped it out of the cabinet and hooked it up to the computer to see if it worked. It didn’t. It’s one of those cheap cardioid directionals that are filled with carbon granules that over time get so packed you have to tap them on something to loosen the carbon inside the mic. Tapping away, I couldn’t get it to work well enough to be usable.

No worries, as my new microphone works fine and I don’t really need the old thing, so I tossed it.

Like I should have done in the first place.